I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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