Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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