i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Another day, another engagement, another cat
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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