Buhtt sex?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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