Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
