Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
why do cheetos always look like penises
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
