I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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