I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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