I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
