hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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