I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
