Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
