Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
