He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
