How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
