some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize