did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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