none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
