she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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