I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I am mentally ready for anal.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
