Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
