thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
