This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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