What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
