Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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