i permit you to call me
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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