You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
