and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize