its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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