...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
