I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
