If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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