she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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