you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
id be glad to
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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