need another drink. this is the easiest way
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
