Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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