Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
