don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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