im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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