Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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