Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
