Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
