I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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