yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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