is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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