And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
