he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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