Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Operation Purity has been aborted
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
