Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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