I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
