tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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