So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
