so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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