i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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