There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize