smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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