remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
