If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
