I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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