my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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