I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
