Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
