No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
