You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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