Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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