i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
